How To Handle The Stress of Being a Financial Provider


Have you always felt like you are carrying the weight of the world? Like everyone seems to depend on you? Your family members rely on you to pay for tuition fees, medicines, and even debts. Your friends also seem to see you as the “financier” for all your gimmicks that sometimes you begin to doubt if they really are your friends.

Yes, it feels good to be able to provide for the needs of your loved ones but untill when? How about your own needs? Will you always have to set aside yourself just to put everyone else first? Being a financial provider is stressful. Trust me, I know.

But lighten up. I am here to help you handle the stress of being your loved ones’ financial provider.

If you want to have a peace of mind in your financial status, the very one thing that you have to learn is to prioritize the allotment of your income to things that are really important to you.

You might say it is very hard to disregard my loved one’s needs and you are the only one they depend on.Well, first of all, you are not alone. The pressure is REAL. I, myself, is my family’s financial provider and I absolutely know how it feels.But believe it or not, we can handle our finances right despite this struggle. Below are some of the ideas we can practice to put our priorities in line while embracing the challenge of being our family’s financial provider:

  1. You need to decide what you really want to happen in your life.
    Saying that I can’t save up for something that I am passionate about because I always end up empty-handed because of my family/friends is JUST AN EXCUSE. You just think that you can’t do anything but the reality is that you just don’t know what you really want in life thus you just let time and opportunity pass by. I am not saying that you become greedy towards your family and friends but if you really really really want to pursue something that will give you fulfillment, there’s nothing and no one to stop you. You will have the sense of urgency and importance to saving up for it if you are clear about your goals. But if you don’t have goals written somewhere, chances are, your life will continue to be defined by randomness. If what you do day-to-day is just going through the issues of life then there’s a big chance you’ll lose direction towards financial freedom. Life is way more than just paying the bills. Life is beautiful and you are ought to enjoy it.
  2. Learn to say ‘NO’, say it early and say it often.
    As a Filipino, one of the hardest challenges we face is not being able to please others. We are known to be hospitable and kind-hearted (naks naman!). But if we understand what our goals are, it will be easy to say ‘NO’. No to something that won’t bring us closer to our goals. No to something that won’t do us any good. Peer pressure won’t be an issue to us anymore. So what if a friend loans from you? Do not fret. If you know your goals for yourself or your family is more important, then you can say no. Most especially if you know that your friend has a reputation of being a “not-so-good-payor”. But you can always lend help by providing an amount that you are comfortable to give. You can give even a small amount and not ask for it in return. That way, your friend will know you have given a sincere help. This practice is applicable not only in giving money but as well as in giving away our time. At first, we tend to say ‘YES’ to everyone who asks for our time because we wanted to learn as much as we can and build new friendships but the moment we become successful and more experienced, we’ll learn the magic of saying ‘NO’. We will only say ‘YES’ if they are able to justify why we have to say ‘YES’ to them.
  3. Use a Money Journal.
    Ideally, you should do this so you’ll see where your money goes. You can monitor how much you spend and what are the things you are spending money on. You should also know how you much you are saving and where you put these savings. Is it in the saving option that beats inflation or in an investment that helps grow your money fast? If necessary, find a financial coach that will guide you in your journey towards financial freedom. If you have no idea where your money goes, how will you assess if you are getting out of poverty? Your Money Journal will surely help you. It should include your Balance Sheet, Income Statement and Savings and Investment Statement.

Remember, we are the only ones who have control over ourselves. Problem is that we sometimes focus on controlling others and forget that it is our own selves that need controlling. We should learn to take charge of our life instead.

If you do these three suggestions I have for you as a financial provider, I am sure no matter how simple they may sound, your life will be so much easier and happier to live in because you’ll be on your way to financial freedom. And if you need my help further, you are always welcome to approach me. I’ll be happy to mentor you.